I walk the forty steps to the room...

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 4:53 am

Mike didn't look up. The cries and the tone William had used was all too familiar. "I knew you'd do it," he muttered. "I knew it. You never stop, do you?" He dared to look at his boyfriend's arm. "Jesus Christ," he muttered again, quietly. He placed his palm over the wound, wrapping his fingers around the boy's wrist. "Can't you just talk to me rather than take it out on yourself...?" He looked sad, deceived.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:37 am

William bit his trembling lip, his eyes wide with tears as well as panic. I hate myself for this... "I was listening to you talk, that's the only reason I did it. You said you hated me and then you said everything else and I tried to punish myself," he said, below a whispering volume of voice. He leaned his head against the wall, trying to calm down but unable to.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 10:20 am

Matt straightened up with a grunt. He walked out the house, holding his pocket together carefully.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:34 am

"So it's my fault, is that it? Because I'm so goddamn stupid." Mike brought William's wrist to his mouth, closing his lips on the wound and licking the blood. Seeing it wasn't enough, he looked sadly at the boy. "You'll need a bandage on that..."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:46 am

Sisky watched Matt get up and leave with a sigh. At least he knows. She looked up at the ceiling sadly and grabbed a notebook and a pen. Turning to a clean sheet of paper she wrote 'Went home to change and take care of some things. Call me if you need me. -Sisky' Not that I think you will. You guys have your own problems. She took off her borrowed sweater and exited the house, turning into a cat for the trip so she wouldn't be as cold.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:54 am

William was still crying silently. "It's not your fault," he whispered, the shame ful look still cast in his eyes. He put his hand on his stomach. It looks like I failed all four of you...

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 11:58 am

Mike grunted and stood up, walking to the bathroom and coming back with toilet paper for lack of a better bandage. He held out his hand. "Show me your wrist."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 1:28 pm

William handed the guitarist his wrist, watching as it continually spilled blood. He bit his lip, silent tears still falling. He moved to sit up on his knees.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:01 pm

"How the hell can you be a mother when you keep acting like a child?" Mike whispered, although he didn't sound angry - only disappointed. He folded squared of paper to absorb the blood, and wrapped more around the boy's wrist to keep it in place.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 3:24 pm

William kept quiet, silently blaming himself for everything bad that had happened between them. He bit his lip and worried. I'm not going to be a good enough parent... He waited for Mike to finish applying the bandage.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 4:47 pm

Mike finished putting up the bandage, but didn't remove his hands. He looked into William's eyes. "I know I scare you sometimes. I see it, I know you. I just get mad, I...fuck, Bill, you expect me to trust you with your own health and you can't even take care of that by yourself."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 4:51 pm

Willaim tried his best to stop crying. His lip was still trembling. He moved back, leaning against the wall. He stared at the ground, trying to think of something to say, but words couldn't form. He held still except for his slight trembling, staring with digust and shame at the ground.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:03 pm

"I'm sorry if I seem harsh most of the time," Mike continued. "I'd say it's for your own good but that's kind of a lame excuse, right?" He leaned his back on the opposite wall, not wanting to get too close to William. "I don't know what else to do. I tried everything and you just won't listen to me. I don't want to lose you."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:07 pm

William took his wrist back, pulling his knees up to his body. He put his arms around himself, resting his head on his knee caps as best he could since he could now only move up his legs so far. He stared at the ground next to Mike, afraid to say anything.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:15 pm

Mike looked straight at William. "If you said your life was none of my business, you'd be wrong. Everything you do affects me because I love you. I care. You might think I'm the bad guy in this but really, truly, I'm just trying to make sure you're safe and won't get hurt eventually." His voice became a little more confident. "I'm asking you, please stop hurting yourself, and please do what the doctor told you. It's important."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:19 pm

William turned his head to look up at Mike. He still had tears running down hsi cheeks. "I-I can't even remember what the doctor said. But he never said anything about the scars," he hardly even whispered, afraid that someone would hear.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:29 pm

"The doctor told you to eat and rest," Mike said, out of patience. "And I'm telling you to stop hurting yourself." He thought a moment before taking a final decision. "You either go by my rules or I'm getting professional help for you. In a hospital, if I have to."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:31 pm

William's eyes widened slightly and he sat up slowly, legs still drawn close. "What do you mean?" he asked, knowing what Mike had meants, but wanting to know if he had been serious.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:36 pm

"If I catch you cutting or purposedly refusing to eat when you very well could, I'm checking you in to a hospital. I'm very serious about this, William." He frowned. "You won't be coming back until it's over. If that means medication, then so be it."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:40 pm

William looked at Mike, nearly shocked. It was like one of his worst nightmares was coming true. "You can't be serious," he whispered, his eyes still wide.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:49 pm

Mike didn't blink. "It's easy. You've got nothing to be scared of if you just do as I say."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:54 pm

William slowly stood up, eyes still wide. "Y-you mean to tell me that you would put me in a hospital even though I'm due to have your children?" he asked, shuddering slightly because he had heard the very same words that Mike had said come out of Ryland's mouth.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:57 pm

"Yes," Mike answered plainly. "I'm not negociating your well-being. And especially since we're about to have children."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:59 pm

William's eyes began watering. "You'd leave me in a fucking hospital where everyone thinks I'm insane. You'd leave me there to give birth all on my own," he said, shaking his head in disbelief as more tears came falling down his cheeks. He knew he looked pathetic, but he couldn't help it. He was afraid.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Thu Oct 11, 2007 6:03 pm

Mike straightened his back against the wall, refusing to show how much William's words affected him. "I won't leave you there. I'd come and see you everyday, but you have to understand you need help with..." He stopped. "William, seriously - I'm giving you a chance here. Just do what's good for you and it'll be out of the question."

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