I walk the forty steps to the room...

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:36 pm

Mike removed his hand from William's hair and took a deep breath. "Yes...?"

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:39 pm

William leaned his head against the wall, biting his lip as he thought of how to phrase what he needed to say. "She told me that her due dates is in about nine weeks. That's roughly when I'm due too," he whispered, making sure that Sisky couldn't hear. "Now listen to me. You have to take care of her and her child first. I can take care of myself and my children," he whispered, still stroking his stomach with his thumb.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:41 pm

Sisky looked through the food Mike and William had and chewed on her lower lip, trying to decide what to snack on.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:44 pm

"No no no. No way. Don't even think about it." Mike shook his head. "It's not like both of you will give birth the same day. I can take care of both. I really can."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:45 pm

William shook his head in response. "No you can't. Just take care of her and her child. You owe that to her after what happened. I can take care of my children." He bit his lip again.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:48 pm

Mike's eyes widened. "I owe it to her? Bill, you're having our children, and I want to be there. What's so complicated about that?" He paused. "I really don't like how you pretend they're only your babies and not mine. Like you don't care."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:51 pm

"I do fucking care," William snapped back. "And that's the problem. You have to help her. She doesn't know what she's doing because she's so young. I can give birth and take care of our children while you help her," he whispered, a sorrowful tint in his eyes.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:51 pm

Sisky decided to pull out jelly and peanut butter to make a sandwich and poured herself a glass of milk.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:56 pm

"Sisky might be young but she's not a child anymore," Mike replied, afraid he's never win. "You don't remember giving birth - it's basically like nothing ever happened. You think you can do it by yourself? I'm the father, I'll be your husband. It's not wrong for you to be my priority. I said I'd take care of both of you, and that's it. You can't stop me."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:59 pm

William sighed, gently tapping his head against the wall. "You can't take care of and give attention to that many people all at once. You're going to have to chose, and she has to be priority," he whispered, still afraid. I know you think you can do all this, but it isn't possible. You're only one person, no matter how much I love you. You can't do this all on your own...

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:05 pm

Sisky spread a healthy amount of peanut butter and grape jelly on two slices of bread and smushed them together.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:05 pm

"I'll call Mikey, or Butcher, or anyone. Maybe Matt can help if that's what it takes. They'll take care of Sisky's child with her in the meantime. She'll understand - I'm not letting you come second." Mike didn't know what to do anymore - either option would make him seem heartless to William.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:08 pm

William started trembling slightly again. "Mike, I love you and I want you to be there but I don't think that you can. Sisky's baby is your child too, therefore you have to help her," he whimpered.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:10 pm

Sisky licked her lips before taking a huge bite of her sandwich.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:11 pm

"I don't understand you. What would make Sisky's child more important than yours?" Mike looked away. "Tell me, I don't get it."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:13 pm

"The fact that I wasn't good enough for you when you made that child," he whimpered before starting to cry again. He brought his knees to hsi chest and rested his head on them, all of his insecurities rushing back.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:16 pm

Sisky washed her first bite down with milk and took another huge one. Almost half her sandwich was gone already.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:18 pm

"William," Mike whispered as he wrapped his arms around the boy, his voice shaking. "It was a moment of weakness. A mistake. Sisky and I both know that. It was only sex, nothing more. It didn't mean anything more than momentary lust. Physical attraction for her. It had nothing to do with how I felt about you at the time."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:21 pm

William held still, still crying. "Th-then it obviously meant that I didn't look good enough to you. I had to have done something wrong for you to just forget about me completely. It's all my fault," he whimpered. "I blame myself everyday because I have to live with this for the rest of my life; knowing that for a while I wasn't good enough for you," he sobbed, trying to keep quiet.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:22 pm

Sisky finished the rest of her sandwich in a hurry and gulped down the milk. She wanted to check something before William and Mike came back up and she didn't think she would be able to explain to them what she was doing. She went upstairs.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:28 pm

"William, you're beautiful. You're amazing. Don't say that." Mike gave up the explaining; he need an example to show what he meant. "Haven't you ever looked at someone and found them attractive? My brain doesn't block out all attraction for other people because I'm with you. What happened wasn't supposed to. I would have been fine with it not happening, to be honest. It went too far."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:31 pm

William continued crying. "B-but what if you do that with every person you're attracted to? I'm still not good enough. Ryland put it best; I'm nothing more than an ugly whore," he cradled himself, past memories flooding back. That's all I'll ever be to anyone...

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:31 pm

Sisky scratched her head and searched around to see if there was anything that looked useful.

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:35 pm

"William," Mike said more firmly, his voice raised in indignation. "Don't ever say something like that again." He carefully hugged his boyfriend. "You're not ugly and you're not a whore. Tomorrow you'll be my husband. I know what I did was horrible, but I'm begging you to believe me when I say I won't make the same mistake twice."

Subject: Re: I walk the forty steps to the room... Fri Oct 12, 2007 9:38 pm

William kept his face covered by his knees. "How am I supposed to when there was some unspoken promise saying you wouldn't do it the first time? How do I know when will be the next time you want something like that? What if I'm still not good enough or you don't want me anymore?" he choked out, wrapping his thin, frail arms around his legs to bring them closer.

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