Won't give it up

Subject: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:31 pm

Mike was the first to open his eyes. He couldn't tell whether it was still nighttime or the early morning, but he stopped caring when he felt William against him, sleeping peacefully for the time being. He listened to his breathing, incredibly grateful he was still alive after all that had happened.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:43 pm

William awoke as he felt someone staring at him. Yawning, his eyes fluttered open to reveal their blood-shot color from crying himself to sleep. Keeping his head on Mike's collar bone, he remained silent, just wanting to be held.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:47 pm

Mike didn't know what to say. It wasn't exactly an awkward silence; just a somewhat uncomfortably painful one. He didn't know whether to smile or not, either. He wanted to comfort William but couldn't lie to himself.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:51 pm

Moving his head so that he could look into Mike's eyes, William uncovered his tear-stained face. It was obvious to see that he was still hurting. He tried to force a smile, but couldn't force one after what he had just been through with Mike.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:55 pm

Mike ran his fingers in William's hair. "Are you feeling better?" Wrong choice of words. He swallowed. "I mean...your health. Tell me if it hurts, I can help."

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 4:57 pm

William shook his head. "I'm not letting you do that again," he was able to speak now, his voice still a little weak. He shouldn't have done that. I don't want him in pain like that.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:02 pm

"Shh," Mike whispered, kissing William's forehead. "You know it was necessary. Hopefully I won't have to use it again on you." You can't stop me from caring about you.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:08 pm

William frowned a little. "I won't let you. You can't do that again." He rested his head back down on Mike's collar bone again. I know you care, but you shouldn't take away my pain. I deserved that.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:14 pm

"I won't then," Mike lied, his voice soft and calm. He placed a hand on William's back. "I'm sorry for scaring you. I won't show weakness like I did ever again."

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:18 pm

William shook his head again. "It's okay. It happens to everyone. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you have to let your weakness show," he looked up at Mike, biting his lip so as not to start crying again.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:25 pm

"It was selfish," Mike admitted. "You needed me to be there and I just..." He stopped talking about it, not wanting to make William any more sad. "It's over now." So many things are over now.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:30 pm

William shook his head once more. "It's okay," he whispered, yawning afterwards. It really was okay with him; he shouldn't have expected Mike to be able to deal with so much. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:39 pm

"Don't be." Mike couldn't understand why William was apologizing. He wasn't the one who had three deaths on his conscience. He bit his lip. "Is it...ever going to be the same?" Can you forgive me for not taking good care of you and them? I killed them and ruined your life. Our lives.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:46 pm

William nodded, giving a little, weak smile. "It'll be fine. We just have to be careful next time," he said leaning up to kiss the worried guitarist's cheek. He meant it when he said next time. He still wanted to have a child with Mike.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 5:50 pm

The words 'we' and 'next time' took a while to process in Mike's head. He knew children, even though they were only babies, couldn't be replaced. Still, he wanted a child, William's child, and would have done anything for that. "I know we'll be." He wanted to promise their child's safety, but he hadn't kept that promise the first time.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:26 pm

William gave a nervous smile at Mike's uncertainty. He moved his hand down to pet his stomach, but almost immediately stopped himself. "It feels so weird without them," he mumbled, already missing his unborn children.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:32 pm

Mike nodded. "I know." He touched William's stomach, tracing the scar with his finger. "We'll ask Butcher to heal this." Some things just don't heal, though.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:35 pm

William nodded, letting out a sniffling noise despite himself. Mike's hand on his stomach brought back too many of the few memories they had already created. A few tears formed in the corners of his eyes as he looked down at the scar.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:39 pm

"I-I'm sorry," Mike mumbled, quickly moving his hand away. I keep doing things wrong. He pulled William closer and held him in a tight embrace, his head against the boy's neck. "I'm so sorry, William." His voice was shaking a little.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:52 pm

William started crying silently again, pulling Mike closer. "I-it's okay," he whispered in between small gasps as he cried. I can't stop breaking down... He held Mike tightly, too afraid to let go.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 7:57 pm

Mike kissed the crook of William's neck. "We'll make it. If we can get through this together then we can get through anything." He managed not to cry, unsure exactly how. "We're getting married this weekend, remember?" He guessed William wouldn't have the heart for a celebration of any kind, but part of him still hoped he could make him happy, if only for one day.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:02 pm

William's tears started to slow again. He gave a small smile; it didn't even have to be forced. Carefully rubbing away the tears from his eyes, he cleared his throat. "Do you think we could try to contact some of the others? We wouldn't have to explain anything since there's nothing to hint what's going on," he mentally kicked himself for adding the last part.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:10 pm

Mike swallowed with difficulty. "Yeah. Yeah, anything you want." He kissed William, taking all the time he could. "We'll call them." He smiled, his eyes slightly red. "I'll make the arrangements today...you know, what I was supposed to take care of a while ago? I'll do it. What about a honeymoon?"

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:15 pm

William smiled, his arms still around Mike. "Anything you want is fine with me," he said quietly, feeling a little better knowing that Mike still wanted him. He was excited about the wedding and actually having more than just one person present. Although he would have been just as happy if it were just Mike and himself.

Subject: Re: Won't give it up Fri Aug 31, 2007 8:23 pm

"The bride gets to choose the honeymoon destination," Mike improvised. He had the feeling William wasn't only pretending to be happy, and it eased the man's guilt a little. Maybe I can do some things right, after all.

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